Simply Jessica's Life

Jessica's Life… nothing more– nothing less.

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The Lump That Isn’t My Friend

I have a post I have been putting off for awhile.  I really wanted to share but on the other hand I didn’t want to share.  Even now, I’m nervous to really talk about it.  Like it makes it more real.  But I will have to do a little backtracking.  So lets go back a little.

The last week of October I discovered a weird lump in my chest.  I only discovered it because when I was getting ready for bed one day, it really hurt.  It was very painful and very sudden.  I don’t really know how long it has been there.  When I first found it, I wasn’t able to go to my provider because I was between insurances.  I was initially concerned about it being an infected lymph node.  So, I was seen at my work to see about antibiotics.  Which we did.  But it didn’t respond.

This lump has stayed.  This lump has remained painful.  I have used heat and cold.  I have used ibuprofen.  It always just hangs out.  I really just tried to ignore it.  Without the insurance it just didn’t help me to worry about it.  It wasn’t easy to ignore it though.  You know it was always in my head somewhere.  It was so hard to not know.  It was beyond my work’s ability because I would need testing that my facility could’t do and the hospital wouldn’t be able to do it without insurance or payment (as it wasn’t emergent).  So, I waited until December.  When my insurance started.

I was going to wait until January because my deductible is lower.  In my adult decision, I decided a higher deductible for 2016 was okay because there wasn’t much of 2016 left.  Then, still convinced it was just a lymph node– I decided I will have it checked out.  It has been quiet a whirlwind since then.

I called on Friday and they got me in on Monday.  It went very quickly.  He felt it and completed my breast exam.  The lump was measured.  He was very upfront with me, he was sending me to get an ultrasound.  Then I would probably be seeing a general surgeon.  So I just had to wait for a phone call.  My appointment was early enough that I got a call from scheduling to get my ultrasound set up.  They had an opening for the next day.  I took that appointment.

I went to my ultrasound today.  Which took forever because my lump is palpable.  With a lump you can feel like mine, you have to have a mammogram first.  So I had to wait for my PCP to put in the order for the mammogram while I waited in the ultrasound room.  They quickly switched me rooms to get my first mammogram done.  It didn’t take long and the lady was very nice.  She knew I was nervous (both just to be having a mammogram and also because I didn’t know what this spot is).  She showed me a few of the shots she took and they looked very neat!  We did joke around quiet a bit while she was taking care of her part– which really lightened the mood.  Then I was taken back to the ultrasound room to finish up.  I was impressed with how well it showed up in the ultrasound!  I could see it and it’s blood supply (which was a little weird to see the blood supply in the middle of the black mass).  In this case, I saw the radiologist immediately after both were finished to get results.  I do hav a solid tumor in my breast.  My risk factor is low for cancer, so we suspect that it is benign.  Which means– what is the plan?  For the mass and to ensure that it is benign.

I will go see a general surgeon next week.  We will discuss if we want to just do a biopsy and remove the mass if it’s dangerous (cancerous).  Or are we going to remove it and then biopsy it after we do that.  After discussing it with the radiologist and the special care nurse, it will probably be the second option.  Only because the mass is painful and fairly large.  They have told me if it didn’t hurt, didn’t cause any issues, and the biopsy came back benign then I could just keep it there.  But it can remain for many years (possibly the rest of my life).  Which might be an option, if there wasn’t pain involved when I wear a bra or have any kind of pressure on it.  Sometimes even when I am lifting something heavy with my left arm, it will move things and apply pressure.. causing it to hurt as well.  But I will know more when I finish my surgical consult.

If I have to be honest, I would say I’m a bit anxious.  When I went to the doctor I expected to be told it was a cyst (or lymph node).  My provider didn’t tell me anything different so even going into the ultrasound I was sure it would be a cyst.  I didn’t expect to find out it was a solid mass.  I’m a little nervous, even if my risk is low.  I do seem to hav some really crappy luck healthwise.  I am sometimes okay.  Sometimes I am sure it will be simple and just over.  Other times, my mind races with thoughts of what it could be… how would I respond… how would everyone else respond.  I’m just trying to keep busy and not think about it to much.  But I guess the rest of my information won’t really come until I see the surgeon, next week.  When we make some decisions as far as what to do with this little monster.

If you could… send some positive thoughts my direction.  I’m just a little bit freaked out.

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One thought on “The Lump That Isn’t My Friend

  1. Any updates on this? Text me!


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